Thursday, 30 June 2016

Fathers

This post has taken me this long to compose and share. This is a real sensitive one for me.
Considering that Father’s day was celebrated over a week ago, this would seem like a late post. It isn’t. I just needed to find the right words to pen down.
 

Last year, I listened to a song that Chris Tomlin  and Pat Barrett sang about God being the good father. Those are some of my favorite lyrics ever. Words that i constantly listen to over and over. This song speaks to my heart in a very beautiful way.
 

As I listened to that song for the first time, I just cried. I cried because I started to recall all the experiences I have had with human fathers. I can say that most of the father figures I grew up with were not good fathers. I was hurt by those that were supposed to protect me. For many years, I had a sad picture of dads. They were a disappointment. My childhood was not pleasant as a result.
 

My son’s dad also decided to make fathers look even worse than the picture I already had about them. He chose to go M-I-A..
 

I could have easily stayed in that state of thinking that fathers are bad but God has been showing me over and over that I am not without a good daddy. That I have always had a good father and he would never forsake me or cause me harm.
 

Beginning this year, I think the loudest message I have received over my life is that I am a child of the King and He is good and He loves me. I have a good father.
I am not making this up, His word tells me I am His daughter. There is a lot of that confirmation in the scriptures but i will use two.
 

1 John 3:1 tells me “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 

Ephesians 3:14-15, Paul prays, "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named…
  
God’s fatherhood is forever and it cannot be tainted by the way our earthly fathers reflect fatherhood. The pictures and experiences we have of our fathers should not limit our ability to understand God’s Eternal love for us, His children. Jesus Christ made a way for us to be embraced lovingly, Eternally by God our Father.
 

This year’s father’s day wasn’t sad/weird. I was celebrating my daddy. The Good Father. And I pray constantly for my son, that his picture of a father will not be stained by his dad’s never being there. I am glad that my son knows Jesus and he is so much aware that God is his father and He loves him so much.
 

I have also seen very good dads around me. I have seen this through my friends at church. My Pastor and friend is a very good dad to his two babies. I see a father who loves his children and who would do anything to protect them. I know now that there are good fathers and I thank God for them.
 

How I pray that every dad will be the person that God intended him to be; a father reflecting God the Good Father.

Monday, 25 April 2016

JOY NO MATTER WHAT.

Huge statement! With the way the year has been going for me, choosing to agree with these words has not been easy. The LORD however has been preparing me in more ways than I had anticipated and  because of that I can say it is possible to embrace Joy No matter what one is going through.

To start with, I have gone through irritable harsh times over and over and there would be no reason for me to be joyful (in a typical world). But I am realizing daily that i am not living typical. I am much more than that. Realizing my identity  has made things much more meaningful. There have been painful, sad days and heartbreaks but I have enjoyed a few happy days.

Illnesses have been constantly invading my home. My  Hamlet has not enjoyed a single full month free from sickness. My Ma was recently hospitalized and I thought I was going to lose her. I felt helpless. It was a scary time for me. I am still amazed at how God calmed my heart during that visit with ma in hospital. He kept reassuring me over and over that the enemy does not get to win. And as I watched her, I had to keep holding back tears and telling myself that it is well. Ma is still battling illness but I am not afraid. God is in charge.

At church yesterday, the preacher’s theme for his sermon was JOY NO MATTER WHAT, and that is where I got my inspiration for this blog post. I enjoyed the message. He preached from Philippians 3. But before that, he went over the first and second chapters of this letter briefly.

Paul is in prison but even in prison, 17 times he says rejoice, be happy. Be joyous. Of all places, a prison is not a vacation that one can gladly write mail to loved ones encouraging them to rejoice. But Paul knows that he has something that is far bigger than comfortable living conditions. Something that even prison can’t take away. And as such he says rejoice.

With all that is going wrong, I can celebrate what is going right and I will find Joy.

For one, My niece who came to live with me last year and who has been Muslim because both her parents are staunch Muslims, accepted Jesus in her life Nov 1st last year and she got baptized on 17th April, My birthday. What a gift Heaven was giving me on that day! Ma was still in critical state, I wanted to stay with her but the next day was the day my niece was getting baptized. I couldn’t miss that for anything in the world. I got on the bus traveled almost 5 hours back home to be with my niece and to be there on the day she was baptized. It was a day filled with so much mixed emotions. God is amazing. I can celebrate that. I can find Joy in all that HE is.


If I cannot find joy in other things, I can rejoice in knowing that I am loved. That I am saved. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for me. If I do not rejoice in the LORD, things of this world will break me. Just like how my year has been going so far, if I did not rejoice in God, I would be totally messed up.

I am not perfect yet, I may not get perfect anytime soon but I desire to seek God’s purpose for saving me. I will try to find Joy in all situations. I can celebrate that I am unique. That I have a purpose. A purpose for me. I will seek to find Joy no matter.

Thursday, 22 October 2015

Bullies.

My son has told me on several occasions of moments that have been awful for him because of other kids mistreatment. Some kids can mean to be hurtful and my Hamlet has been on the receiving end of some of these kids’ meanness. 

On one occasion, a girl bigger than he is thought it was funny to push Hamlet off a swing. This landed him face down and he was hurt. She threw him down again by running into him as he stood on the school compound the next day. And these are the few times that he has told me about. I think there were days that she picked on him or hit him and he did not tell me because he is a boy and he sometimes finds it difficult to admit that a girl is the one responsible for causing him pain.  I must confess I was harboring bad thoughts for that 8/9 year old girl.

Leaving Hamlet’s bully aside, I have come to realise there are older bullies. I am encountering one myself. At first I thought that this lady is just rude but with time I have come to see that she is just a bully. She likes making everyone around her feel small. To her, you don’t have an opinion. She does the talking. You have to listen to her or risk being belittled and put down. 

How do I relate to such a person who constantly makes me feel irrelevant? I can’t avoid her because I deal with her more times than I wish I did. One would suggest confronting her. She is not one to listen to such. Talking to her will make things even worse than they were before.

Bullies make the environments they live in less interesting, less pleasant to stay in. The girl that has been bullying my son really needs prayers so that when she grows up, she doesn’t turn out to be like the bully I am dealing with at the moment.

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

TRUST

I have been trying to understand what it means to trust. I think I am a bit too trusting at times that it is hard for me sometimes to understand why people are over protective (even when not necessary), less trusting, very suspicious of everyone around them. 

It can get real bad and hurtful at times when I realize that there is so much mistrust. How can one give you so much responsibility over things yet keep looking over their shoulder, hovering over you, monitoring your every move? I hate it. I hate it when I feel that someone is ever suspicious. It puts me in a bad place. If trust cannot be given fully, then you should leave it all together. 

Don’t trust me to stay in your house but lock all your drawers each time you are leaving me by myself in your house. One would be stupid not to realize that you don’t trust them enough to leave your drawers open.What would be the reason for doing that if I have never given you cause to do so? It makes me wonder sometimes if people fail to trust due to other unspoken reasons. 

The person that is put in that predicament often feels small if they know you are not trusting them enough. I try not to do it because I hate anyone doing it to me. The only reason that would cause me to not trust someone is if they have broken my trust over and over. Most times I choose to trust. 

Being suspicious of others normally does not remain unnoticed. The person you are suspicious of usually knows. They may never confront you about it, but they know! And they hurt so bad. No one wants to feel that way.

When you choose to not trust someone, you better have a smart reason for that. Don’t just get prejudiced and makeup reasons to be suspicious of people.

That is it. I have finally said it.

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

I will choose to love

I have been reflecting on somethings that the LORD has exposed before my eyes. One of those has been my reactions to the actions of those I care about. Actions that don’t seem right! How have I responded to the decisions being made by the ones I love and I am not in agreement? 

A few days ago, I sat down with a colleague and I kept complaining about how upset I was about the decisions that someone close to me was making. I thought she was going to agree with my reasons for being quite upset. May be she did agree but the response I received from her was very eye opening. She pointed to me that I was judging this person rather than just loving her. I put up a big defence; I told her I wasn't judging. 

Her rebuke sounded rather harsh. But I needed it. I needed to be told that being frustrated with this person over the decisions they were making wasn't going to make them better. She asked me if this person was a Christian and I said that she wasn't. She then told that this was normal because of the absence of the knowledge of the Savior to this person and what following HIM requires. 

How quickly I had forgotten the person I used to be before I knew the LORD! The decisions this person is making are not any different from the ones I made back then. I was blind to the truth of the Savior  but I was loved. I have come to realize that I have been judging the person I used to be. 

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
~Mother Theresa 

This is so true. I had stopped loving as I should and I was spending much time criticizing and complaining and asking questions like “ How can someone make such choices?’’

I need to be more understanding and gracious. I was in the same shoes before but I put them off. This person can do that too and being mad at them won’t help. I will choose to Love no matter what.

Thursday, 30 July 2015

July for us.

July is my favorite month of the year. I am reminded of the many gifts God has Blessed me with.

The Biggest highlight for us was celebrating Hamlet's 7th Birthday. I am truly thankful for this young man.

Hamlet is a true Blessing and i am truly thankful to God.

Yesterday was another day to be thankful to God for my life. A day that could easily have been terrible, did not turn out so bad. On my way to work, my motor cycle guy lost control and we crashed.  No serious damage and i just got up and was very thankful that i was okay. I was mindful to watch my response to situations, good or bad. Instead of sulking and being frustrated, i was filled with thanksgiving in my heart. A lot of beautiful things have happened in my life. Even when the bad creep in, what should my reaction be?

 I am thankful for how July has turned out.

Thursday, 9 July 2015

Well, well.... The lessons i have learned!

I used to think I was very consistent especially when it came to my writing. I have discovered I am not. 
On a positive note, My absence from Updating my blog hasn’t in anyway implied I have run off.

This week at work I have been blessed to lead devotion time. I chose to share from Jonah. Jonah the Prodigal Prophet. God the forever Redeeming God.

I have learned from this book how not very different I am from Jonah. Often times, I run away from my mission. It is easier to run as far as I can.

My sin has been totally exposed. I have at times run from sharing about the Lord, from sharing about the consequences of disobedience (Usually the hard part!) to those I should.

Sometimes it is because of my own prejudice. My superficial assumption  that they are past hearing, past restoration, past redemption.

I read once that Jonah’s mission couldn’t have been any different from a Jew being sent to the Germans during the WWII with a message like Jonah had. A message that implied the Germans would face destruction if they continued to annihilate the Jews but if they stopped, forgiveness would be available.  The Jew would most likely take off in a different direction like Jonah did.

As I read chapter 1, I am reminded that My sin is very much laid bare before the LORD's sight. He spoke to Jonah, Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”
My Sin/ wickedness can not be hidden from His sight.

The other  observation I get from here is that I often run from my task. When He sends me, do I always do His bidding? "But Jonah ran away from the Lord"
  
It is when we are in the Belly of the fish, Stinky/slimy dark place that we remember who is in charge. Just like Jonah, I have been in that place. And God has come to the rescue. Maybe not in the same way.

As i read Jonah chapter 3, I had to real pose hard and go past being amazed. The people of Nineveh responded in a way that Jonah least expected. They were sorry/repentant. They grieved over their own sin. they took a round about turn. 

What do i learn from this? 
Maybe i have written off some people thinking they are beyond salvation. It is the least likely people like those of Nineveh that can change from their wicked ways to a path of repentance. I have prejudiced some people. But how i would be surprised if they actually turned around for GOOD.

The last chapter is another story to tell. Jonah was mad that the people repented and God was merciful. This reaction is kind of funny. 


Jonah himself called on the mercy of God and enjoyed the mercy of God when it was extended to Jonah. Now he resents it when it is extended to others. What if God treated Jonah the way Jonah wanted God to treat the people of Nineveh

My own Selfishness was exposed here too.  

I am glad  "The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love"

I  am truly a work in progress but i am thankful for the Lessons i keep learning everyday.