Saturday, 30 November 2013

Puzzling over change.

One needn't turn hoary-headed to learn that the baton of life, has a way of showing up on our starting grids unannounced, requiring us to make life-changing decisions with no room for maneuvers. I have been contemplating a few incidences that i have to encounter. Thinking of moving to a totally new place is a bit scary. Moving from the comfort of familiar faces and things is sometimes hard to comprehend. But how that this fit into God's plan for me at the moment?

Dreams, Feelings , Intuitions,Visions, even Seers [prophets] have been known to sometimes fail particularly when it comes to trying to make sense of God's perfect will. All of these usually fail but Love! Today i watched as i let my son venture on his own far from my ever watchful eyes. He got on the bus (this will be about 5hrs drive without me). My feelings were in muddle. But i noticed, my baby has grown. He has evolved. He can do fine with other people (still missing him though, but i know he is fine). I just have to trust that even if i do not know how he is going to react once he gets there without me, God will watch over him.

Change will happen at one point . But it always brings with it uncertainity, confusion. When things go sour, many begin to wonder and ponder about those never-ending puzzles and even ask questions such as: Did God really rubber-stamp this decision, business, or venture in the first place?

Comprehending the above circumstantial dilemmas and a billion other nail-biting scenarios is man's life-long quest during his time here. Besides this has been responsible for why many have switched, hitched, or even ditched the existence of God. Ultimately the objective of these situations is to bring to light a self-discovery and acknowledgement of man's incapacitation minus God. [The evidence is all too glaring whether they are called the greatest,or the brainiest but absolutely powerless].

Finding out God's Will for one's life is still one relevant piece of life's maze man can't afford to continue
unresolved. And it is indeed true that our journey through life may necessitate that we quickly come to terms with the fact that God oftentimes wouldn't reveal His complete will unto us until the future has become the past. He might only give a glimpse to spur us on. Or even that indelible snapshot etched within our hearts!

This in no way causes a collision with our ambition to succeed as human beings. On the contrary, it is by understanding what true success means from God's perspective that living may then become truly meaningful.

Therefore, we can encounter loss, failure, pain, opposition, persecution, and more, and yet be smack-dab in the middle of God's perfect will for our lives. While we see only the difficulty of the moment, God sees the
effectiveness of the process.

So as i puzzle over change from what i am used to and look around for a new place, finding a new school for Hamlet and figuring out new things,  i have to trust that God will see me through this.

Thursday, 21 November 2013

The Unspeakable


I have often  sought a  lonely spot to deal with distress and over and over i have come to realize that it is okay to want to pour out your heart.
God is our Father of intimate, loving compassion. That  very compassion invites the honesty that voices the unspeakable and brings healing. 
 
It’s all right—
questions, pain, and
stabbing anger
can be poured out to
the Infinite One and
He will not be damaged.

Our wounded ragings will be
lost in Him and
we
will
be
found.

For we beat on His chest
from within
the circle of His arms.

"Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend." —Job 16:19–21

"Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul." —Job 7:11

I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. —Psalm 142:1–2

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

What is going on?


For the past months I have been thinking on what my next blog post will be about. Well, I still have no idea as I write this. So I will go ahead and see what I come up with.

To begin with, I have been frustrated. This is something I never thought I would openly blog about. But the way I have been feeling lately has not been pretty. Some elements have armed to make life miserable. But I am holding on.

I have been reading Job on and off. Can’t seem to understand that book. Job was commended as faithful. And reading his story, (which I haven’t finished yet) I can slowly understand why. But what is special about this story. The guy lost a lot. His family, his wealth and his health was not left intact as well. If I had to face all that, I would totally hate my life. 

So what lessons have I been learning? The last chapters show that Job was totally healed, his wealth became even more than before and he had 10 children (goes on to say that his daughters were the most beautiful in the land!) But wait a minute, I never before paused to think that he couldn’t have had all these things restored in a day. His wife couldn’t have carried 10 babies at once. This had to have taken a long time. Years of waiting on the Lord, this involved trust, patience and waiting even more.

What am I driving at? With all the frustration I am experiencing, it is going to stop some day. The bruises will totally heal. It may not be today. 

Getting on to another important update, My son, graduated from nursery school. I was over the moon with Joy. In my culture, people don’t usually cry with Joy, but that is how I felt. Just watching him present, watching him looking amazing. He is the most beautiful person I know. He sure made me proud. Every day I am thankful because even if I have failed in so many things, I have totally done something very right. I am raising a smart little man. 


For my friends that pray. Here are a few praises and prayers.
Praises for:
·         Hamlet’s completion of nursery school.
·         Safety as Hamlet goes to school and as I get to work (travel by boda bodas is a risk).
Prayers
·         I need to find a new place to shift to as soon as possible. Pray for God’s direction, provision and a beautiful, safe, clean place.
·         School for Hamlet for next year. Where to take him. 
·         For my mother. She is going through a hard time. 
·          Pray for the salvation of men, neighbors, family, workmates, acquaintances.
·         Safety on the road during this festive season as many people will be traveling.

Friday, 18 October 2013

What do you do?

What do you do when you are in down town and you see guys pick pocketing women ? And you witness this every single evening?
Well my heart is torn. I want to warn these unsuspecting ladies but the look i see on these guys' faces is always scary/ murderous. So i just watch and i am always left helpless. I wish i could do something.

For weeks i had decided that i will get in the taxi, close my eyes until we are past down town Kampala so that i don't keep blaming myself for not helping.
But today something happened, right before i got into the taxi, the pick pocketer was busy opening a lady's bag. I saw him. So i passed by the lady, Knocked her with my elbow and she wasn't so happy but she adjusted her bag. I was happy.

It is so difficult when you want to help but also have to think of your own safety. Maybe that is a bit selfish but what choice does one have??? It doesn't change the fact that i feel really bad and angry at these ruthless guys.

Monday, 7 October 2013

Update...

To start with, i have missed doing this. Life has kind of been busy and busy.

From my last post to this one, a lot has happened. I have a new Job (same work place). I am thankful for that. It is also one of the reasons I have been busy. It is pretty interesting if you are a big fun of staring at and dealing with numbers from Morning till you sign out.

Hamlet celebrated 5years 19 July.. I am a lucky mama.  


And school is going great. I am thankful to God for every day , for my beautiful son, for friends.

Other than that, Life is good.

Saturday, 29 June 2013

Judging a book by it's cover

We’ve all heard the saying, “Never judge a book by its cover". But most of the times, the books we choose to read are chosen mainly because of how the cover looks. One thing I have learned is that you can never ever judge by appearance. Some people may look tough but are truly some of the most gentle souls.

Recently i have come to know someone and this person is totally amazing. Initially, i knew that this one was totally unfriendly and i did not want anything to do with them. i was fully biased.

This person is very good and i failed to see that at first. After spending time around them and a good conversation, i have discovered how amazing, sweet and fun they really are. I never would have come to this observation if i did not flip through the pages.

Sometimes a book cover can tell what is inside, but this is not the case all the time. We can be wrong. Judging a person from the outside without taking time to know them can make us miss out on the greatest, most amazing people we would rather have in our lives and we fly with those that appeal to the eye yet they are not that great.

Often the way you think about a person isn't the way they actually are. Everyone has a story left untold, so never judge someone as if you know their entire life story because the truth is you probably don’t.

I have learned my lesson not to judge people so fast without getting to know them. This one turned out to be what i never thought they would be. Amazing, understanding and so much fun! Don't be so quick to judge a book by it's cover.

Monday, 10 June 2013

Timely and powerful

Today as i sat on my desk pondering and worrying about a situation i am current going through, i received this devotional. it was very appropriate and very timely.

From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

REST IN ME, MY CHILD. Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen. Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day. Remember that you are on a journey with Me. When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore your constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment. As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don’t even feel the strong grip of My hand holding yours. How foolish you are, My child!

Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline. Never lose sight of My Presence with you. This will keep you resting in Me all day, every day.

I was reminded to "Pray continually"......1 Thessalonians 5:17;

And i have to find a way to say , " Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him" Psalm 62:5

And here i was thinking and planning and worrying but this message has given me new perspective.

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Water .... the lack of it!

My little boy often tells me, “Mummy, water is life”. It is one of those saying you hear everyday and get so used to.


Well, yesterday I realized what a mess i would be in if more than a day passed with no water in the house. By evening time, I was so frustrated; I couldn't stay in one place. I checked the tap more times than necessary  My patience was being put to test. 9:00 pm, and there was no sign that water would appear anytime.

This led me to think, how many times have I been caught off guard  I was not prepared. I had no water saved for a moment like that. I could have saved a jerrycan of water to use but I hadn't. Kind of like the brides that had their lanterns drained of fuel and when the groom came, they were not prepared.

This morning, I woke up to the same story. Water was there, but I was like number 10 in line. When the jerrycan before mine was being filled, the water started to disappear slowly… the tap was announcing “nap time”. The jerrycan did not even get full and mine was next! I could have kicked it! I had to  tell myself, “be still”.
My generous neighbor offered me 5 litters of her water so that I could sail through today. That 5 litter jerrycan of water was very precious. How we fail to value things until we don’t have them!!! Water is life, indeed.

Christ said He was the spring of living water.  This scarcity of water has created an awareness of the presence of water that doesn't dry out. True springs of water is what every man ought to have flowing with in them and His is a free gift. This realization made me feel refreshed. I have Jesus and that means I can have peace about things that will dissapoint, like this current situation.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Lessons learned from Passion trip.

So I took a trip to Nairobi, Kenya for a passion conference. It was very eventful and I learned a few things from this.
First of all, the thought of traveling was not on my mind right away. The announcements were made in church, but it never for once crossed my mind that I would be in Nairobi if I wanted to.
It was a fat ‘NOT INTERESTED’ from me. Everything concerning this passion trip was not my kind of want-to-do thing. How wrong I was!
I had a few misgivings, logistical issues to consider, and not forgetting emotional concerns. I could not imagine leaving my son behind with anyone for more than one nite. Passion trip would mean spending more than 3 nites away. That was not appealing at all. I knew I was not going.

About 2 days to departure date, I felt different. It was like a strong force was urging me to sign up for this trip. It was funny considering that it was costly for me and I had no idea how this cost would be covered. I only knew one thing, I was going. I signed up. My deposit for the trip was Zero, My balance was “the whole amount”. It was Monday and the trip was Wednesday Evening. I knew I was a total joke for even considering signing up for this.
By Tuesday after noon, I knew that it would only take a miracle for me to get on the bus to Nairobi for Passion conference. As I sat on my desk at work, I kept asking God, ‘is this what I am supposed to do or not? Pliz show me a sign! I will be happy with whatever.’

That evening, a friend called me and told me that I was going. She assured me that God was taking care of the details. I went for choir practice lighthearted. Everything was falling into place. I was travelling. There were however a few more hiccups. I had not secured my travel documents . I started to panic. Every one gave me their own version of what was going to happen to me if I reached the border without one. The time I had left to rush to immigration to grab the document, was running so fast and yet I had to take care of a few details that were most important.

Wednesday morning, I had my bags packed, got Hamlet to the salon to have his hair trimmed (forgive me for the details), and then got him to another location where  he would spend time while I was away.  It was a very emotional morning for me. After dropping him at my friend’s place, I couldn't go to immigration. I felt very homesick even before I left the country. It felt strange.
I decided I would take the risk of clearing from the border and if the worst happened and I was bounced, then I could just back home to my son.

Eventually, time to set out reached and I knew that everything was going to be fine. It was going well. Once we got to the border, everyone moved out for clearance. I first made a silent prayer before I moved out that I would find favor before the immigration officials. I then moved to the line. I was amazed. I was cleared ahead of most people that had their passports with them. It was a great relief to me. I learned how God was paving the way for me. Everything was going smoothly.

Then we got to  Nairobi. And I had to overcome another fear I had. Where was I going to sleep? I was scared. I kept imagining all the things that could go wrong if I stayed in the wrong place.
The sleeping arrangement was a bit challenging. I shed a few tears. I knew I needed to let God work things out for me. It was me and Him. I needed to learn a few lessons. I am glad that I did.
I learned that He was my one true friend, and the scripture that keeps warning me of not trusting in human beings was very much clear to me. I was to look to Him and no one else.

A few other things happened but each moment was a learning experience for me. Every time we spent praying together was like every prayer echoed what was in my heart. I needed to know that this trip was not about me. It was about Jesus. One of the younger girls on the trip, that I have come to love and respect for her maturity made a statement, “ we did not come on vacation, we came to serve God”. I was deeply touched. This is a girl that is about 12 years younger than me. But she got it. she knew that everything concerning that trip was about honoring Christ not about having fun and comfort. (This does not mean that we did not have fun).

This trip taught me that Christ could make what seemed impossible, very possible (considering my logistical issues with very limited time), He could remove man-made barriers that hindered ministry progress (My immigration situation), He was my only true friend (human friends could disappoint!) , He required sacrifice and love from me (which I learned a lot).

The Passon nite was amazing, the worship was great. I dancing and ran around until I almost couldn't breathe (it was a good thing, though!). Pastor's message was amazing. I recorded it, so I would never forget. And we had to finally come home.

This passion trip was one that I will always remember. There were lessons learned. Most of all I learned that everything is about Jesus. Nothing else matters. 

Thursday, 2 May 2013

My 4 year old made me proud!!!


Today was a very happy day for me. My son made me very proud. Last nite before we went to bed, Hamlet and I prayed. He prayed that his report card would be good and that mommy would be happy. And God answered. I was the happiest mama of them all as I picked his file from school.

The past weeks have been really hard and I have not been a happy person. I have hardly had moments where I really felt Joy except when my friend had her baby. Today I am very Joyful. I felt God smiling down on me. This feeling is amazing. Thank you God for the blessing of my son.  Thank you for wonderful grades even in the midst of all the times he has missed school because he was ill. U are amazing God. In our weakness, you show yourself strong.  

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Dealing with pain.

"If  I say, I forget my complaint, i will change my expression, and smile,' i still dread all my sufferings."
Job 9:27-28

Friday nite started as a beautiful nite for me. The praise and worship at church was beautiful. I did not know that on that same nite, i would face serious dread.
After passion nite, it was time to go home. Usually, there is a team i walk home with. But on this particular nite, i would have to walk home with only Hamlet as my walking companion.

About 10minutes walk  from where i live, i was suddenly attacked by guys i did not even know what their motive was. I stood there in pain and I was  angry. I was angry at those boys for attacking a helpless woman with a child, i was angry at myself for standing there, i was angry at God for not protecting me from such danger.

My pain overwhelmed me for sometime that i could have easily forgotten to be thankful for God's protection. Nothing i had on me was robbed, Hamlet had not been harmed, i was not brutally injured. God had shielded me from so much. I needed to cry to Him and tell Him that as much as i was in pain, i was grateful that He had been with us. He is always there. His love never fails.

Friday, 19 April 2013

Until He has it all

Jesus will not give up until He has won us to Himself. Until he has it all.
I am seated here just listening to some beautiful songs. Songs very powerful, I feel overwhelmed just thinking of God's amazing Love. 
One in particular is by Jesus Culture 

YOU WON'T RELENT
You won't relent until You have it all, My heart is Yours 
I'll set You as a seal upon my heart as a seal upon my arm For there is love that is as strong as death Jealousy, demanding as the grave And many waters cannot quench this love
You won't relent until You, have it all My heart is Yours You won't relent until You, have it all My heart is Yours Come be the fire inside of me Come be the flame upon my heart Come be the fire inside of me Until You and I are One

I don't want to talk about You Like You're not in the room I want to look right at You I want to sing right to You 
You won't relent until You have it all, My heart is Yours 
I'll set You as a seal upon my heart as a seal upon my arm For there is love that is as strong as death Jealousy demanding as the grave And many waters cannot quench this love
Come be the fire inside of me Come be the flame upon my heart Come be the fire inside of me Until You and I are One

Sometimes we sing these beautiful melodies and that is it. But as I ponder on these words, I am brought to my knees. Jesus won’t relent until He has it all. Wow. Amazing!
A love that is stronger than death?? What more could I ever ask for?
Will I set Him as a seal upon my heart as a response to this great love that has been offered me? A love that cannot be quenched by many waters. Lord I am forever grateful that you will not relent until you have it all; My soul, My heart, My all.


Thursday, 18 April 2013

What are friends for?

As I write this I am very grateful for different friendships God has brought in my life. I have been blessed with a few good friends. The kind that will stand with me no matter what. This “no matter what” does not mean that they will not rebuke me in love when they have to.

I have learned that Friends are there to love us, to understand (sometimes they fail, but it’s okay), to laugh and cry with us. That’s what friends are for. Yesterday, I was amazed at all the Love I received from friends that believe my Birthday should be special and they made sure I felt loved and special.
My friend Sarah made me the yummiest cookies ever and even if I don’t usually express my emotions so openly, she knows that I felt loved and spoiled.

 After that, I went to teach the Kids at Joy Club International and as I got there I was surprised that they knew it was my birthday.  Emma and Annie (two of the kids there) saw me and they couldn't hide their excitement about my birthday. They almost told me what surprise had been prepared for me. I was totally amazed. That is how it feels to have friends who actually care. 

What are friends for? I can’t really answer this question  to everyone’s expectation but I believe that we need to know that it is okay to let your friends in on some aspects of your life; the good and bad. I don’t know how things in my life would be like if I was one tiny deserted island by self.

Today as I left home for work, I kept playing in my head a song by Stevie Wonder,“that’s what friends are for”. A chorus in that song,
“Keep smiling', Keep shining'. Knowing' you can always count on me for sure, that's what friends are for. In good times, And bad times I'll be on your side forever more. That's what friends are for"

I feel that I have failed in some ways as a friend and I have to sit back and ask myself; Do my friends believe that I will be on their side through the good and the bad?  Can I count on my friends to stand with me all season? Well, I know I can count on my friends. My previous post was on Oceans raging. By the time I wrote that, I was kind of caught in a stormy weather. And I did not want to share it with any one. One of my friends had to ask me why I am not letting people in. I told her, “I have my reasons”.  But my problem did not just go away because I wasn't sharing it. I had to be put in a corner first, and be broken, until I realized that I have friends that actually Love me. Yesterday I talked to a friend about what was going on and sharing that with my friend was amazing. I felt very good after that because my friend was there for me.

I pray that we will be friends that define the true meaning of friendship. It is good to love and to be loved back.  We love to use fancy words like, “we are a circle of friends”. What would being in a circle of friends entail? If we are a  circle of friends,  we ought to love each other and carry one another’s burden. We should also be willing to let others invade some of our privacy. It is much safer than being alone.

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

And when the oceans rage.......

This whole month, one song has been going on over and over in my heart. “Your Love never fails.” There is one particular line that was very real for me. “When the oceans rage, I don’t have to be afraid, because I know that you love me, your love never fails.”  Thinking of a raging ocean, gives me chills (not in a nice way). I remember reading as a 14 yr old of a huge ship (the Titanic) that was swallowed up in the North Atlantic Ocean on 15 April 1912 after colliding with an iceberg. I was terrified. The Oceans can do that when things get out of control. I fear being caught in the middle of a raging ocean. Kind of what we go through in life. The oceans do rage sometimes and it is often catastrophic. Some causalities may come up; Death of Trust In our God, Sickness of the soul, Wounded hearts.

One thing I have noticed as I listen to this song is that even in the midst of a raging ocean, I should not be afraid because He loves me and He will not let me sink. If He is aboard my ship, there will be no going down. When the ocean rages, no army on earth can withstand its advance, no scientific breakthrough can quell or quiet their sound. A roaring and stormy ocean is a frequent reminder of man’s frailty and helplessness in the face of such raw power. 


“More than the sounds of many waters, than the mighty breakers of the sea, the Lord on high is mighty.” As strong and powerful as the ocean waves may be, the Lord on high is infinitely more powerful. His voice is louder, His strength is stronger, His hand is firmer. While no force on Earth can quiet the waves, they cannot resist a simple word from the Lord. The Lord reigns, His will and His command is firmly established.


This week, even as I am facing raging waters, I think back to that song that we sang on Sunday. That line about when the oceans rage.  Something about feeling at peace within the storm knowing He is for me. It’s a strange peace. I am made aware that life is full of "storms" but God by nature and person is above the weather. When I think and start remembering the pain of the current raging, meditating on this song has helped me a great deal. I feel sure, loved, known and safe.  I see hope. 


“And when the oceans rage, I don’t have to be afraid because I know that you love me”.

I am now singing out loud of God’s unfailing love; yelling the word of truth passionately. “God, your love never fails!”

“The wind is strong and the water’s deep but I’m not alone here in these open seas because your love never fails”

Life can be one challenging and scary experience. We feel that we are caught and dragged in a downward spiral and though we see the world spinning around us, we need not be afraid. Our God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Of late I am asking my self these questions; who is in my boat? What is going to happen when the wind starts howling and the waves toss my boat? When the world knocks me down, who will be there to save you? 


O Lord I cannot stand against the waves, but I know that the waves cannot stand against you. Thank you that you are for me and not against me. Because you are for me I can stand in hope because you control the wind and waves that crash against my life. I have no strength against them, but my God, you are the master and commander of the whole earth. My hope and my peace are in you and in you alone. 

“The floods have lifted up, O Lord; the floods have lifted up their voice; The floods lift up their pounding waves, more than the sounds of many waters, than the mighty breakers of the sea, The Lord on high is mighty.”


Saturday, 13 April 2013

A day with the Kids at Joy Club International


To begin with, i had no idea what i was getting myself into. I was seriously convinced by a friend (Diana) that this was something that i would enjoy doing. I had my own misgivings, most of which were very personal. She insisted, "Rhona, you should see those kids. It is going to be fun!" The catch words there was 'the kids'. She knows how passionate i get, when i am told any thing to do with the little ones. I was totally sold to the whole idea.

That Wednesday i travelled to the premises that would host this program. The discussions we had that day were amazing.  The program line up for Wednesday was very enticing and exciting. I could not wait to get into the real thing. But i still had to make a decision. I knew, that if i said yes, there was no looking back.
Finally, I knew that i would not want to be anywhere else on that particular day. Being with the kids, learning about Jesus was a great idea.

Most of those kids, come from the slums where they have not had any conversations that are God-Centered All they know is something else but Jesus. I wanted so much to be a part of a ministry that meant that we would facilitate in bringing up a young generation for Jesus. If the slums were set ablaze with a passion for Jesus, the whole city would not escape catching on. This was beautiful. Something I desire most is that the little ones are set a part for Jesus. This led me to think of myself. As a little girl, if I had been introduced to Jesus sooner, i am sure i would have made certain choices differently.

So, last week we got to real action. By 4:00pm, the gates to the premises were open and the kids were coming in slowly. I waited to receive the kids i was going to teach (the youngest group, 3-4 year olds).
Receiving the kids

Then we got them seated and  the topic of the day was introduced to them after some music and dancing. Everything was looking good.

 

Hamlet was in my class and that was interesting. It was fun (he kept calling me,each time I asked for an answer. He raised his hand, "mummy, ......")
Hamlet was in my class
 Our theme was on friendship; with God, and with others. The study was on Jesus and the relationship with Martha and Mary. One of the things the little ones had to know was that Jesus was very much interested in a relationship with them. A close relationship with Jesus was more important than anything else they did.I think they got it.








Game time. They played Mingle, mingle. It was fun

It was a great day, with nice games , crafts  and music. I had not planned on jumping that much during the time music was played, but i loved it.

My friend Diana and her Class
One of the other teachers(Vester) with his group

Craft time

Snack time. I helped


 I am glad that God is using different ministries and people to reach out. It was a great first day and I am praying for more wonderful Wednesdays there.