Thursday, 14 March 2013

He is in Control

I have learnt and I am still learning how much  it costs me when I think I can take control. It is never simple.  A few days now, I was going through a rough time  and I decided to keep God out of it (not that it is possible!!!) and just fuss about it. Well it has not been easy. On Saturday, I was so mad at someone . I started wishing them bad. The crazy thoughts that went through my mind were not good at all. I wished that the object they are using to cause me discomfort would be ruined/crash.

I realized later that i was not supposed to wish her harm. I was instead supposed to pray for her and to love her. Maybe....just maybe, she would change her ways and be more sensitive.

For a few days since, i have had some peace. I am praying that it will remain. And more than that, i am praying that God will transform her and win her to Himself. 

I have realized that i need to depend on God for even the tiny little things. Even when i feel that i have them under control, sometimes they hit me in the face and i totally feel lost because of depending on my own strength. This morning, Hamlet did not want to have a rain jacket on, and no matter how much i tried to explain to him that it was drizzling out and that he could catch a cold, he wouldn't change his opinion.

I was starting to get angry.....slowly, it was building up inside. Then i remembered something. I needed to pray. That Hamlet would understand and also for me to be patient and not be quick to get angry. Suddenly, i felt peace and calmness, that could only come God.

He was not happy but we made a deal that i would tell the boda (motorcycle) guy to bring it back home once he gets him to school. 


This tiny issue made me more aware of how it is important for me to trust God with everything no matter how big or small it is. He is in control, not me.

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